Evicted! Again!

These parents of mine. The keep me moving and change up things all the time. I was sittin cool for 9 months in my mom's belly, then she evicted me. I was all nice and warm, kinda like a nice hot bath, then next thing I know. I'm freezing, there is light all around me, things were loud, and I had to work my mouth to eat. You know what? I heard about this and could get past all that, I forgave and forgot. But now, argh, they did it again! These last 3+ months, yes, my WHOLE life! I was sleeping and chilling near my parents all the time. They got their big bed and I got my sweet crib right next to it. Their room is huge, probably can fit 10 more of my cribs in it, no problem. No! These parents are selfish and want the WHOLE room to themselves! Yea! I know! They booted me all the way across the hall to a small room, maybe 1/2 the size of theirs. What gives? They are almost out of earshot, almost. I can raise the volume when I need to. Yea, they evicted me again. They tell me it's cuz I'm gonna get too used to being in their room and attached and I'll never leave. They think I'm starting to recognize things better, which may be true, but dude, I thought I was the top priority. Anyway, now I'm all the way across the hall. The dog even thinks it's wack, he doesn't wanna come visit and lick my feet no more.
They can still hear me though, they got some magic device that throws my voice to whereever they are. If I bellow, they still hear me. This room is cool though. Has my name above the window, a big UCLA Fathead. A closet full of dope onesies and a bunch of toys. It's cool and all, it won't make MTV cribs, but good enough. I guess I can get used to it, but I don't need these toys, I got my fingers to suck on and stare at. I hope they won't kick me out even farther, although when I'm crying in the middle of the night, I hear mumbling that it is only 18 more years away. What happens at 18? Don't matter thats like 72X my life away. Guess I'll get used to this, anyone got a flatscreen for me to help pimp my crib with?